Kinda what it's like

I stole this from a new "online friend"...see item # 13...

When a girl loves a soldier...
1.) If she wasn’t emotional before, that is all about to change.
2.) You getting a higher rank doesn't displace her rank in your life.
3.) Get her a pair of dog tags, ASAP, This is crucial, she will never take them off.
4.) Most of the time, you losing reception during training is your fault. (Though, she will eventually understand)
5.) Most of the time, everything is your fault. (This especially goes for when she is pregnant)
6.) She WILL start talking like your guys and you talk, including using your last names.
7.) Her patriotism could out-do most of your men… she will be proud… VERY proud.
8.) Be Ready: your car will end up with a yellow ribbon magnet or an “I LOVE MY SOLDIER” sticker eventually. (if you have separate cars, hers will DEFINITELY have these)
 9.) She will most likely need a pair of dog tags to hang from the car’s rear view mirror. (see 3)
10.) Every week she’ll have “another song” that makes her think of you when you’re away. (And she’ll cry to it, even when you’re in the same room)
11.) If you’re married, she may know the base better than you do… Don’t take it personal.
12.) You will catch her comparing your relationship with “other couples” in the military constantly.
13.) She’ll make 5 million friends online, and talk to you about them all the time because her “old friends just don’t understand” like they do.
14.) Don’t be shocked when she just drops civilian chicks out of her life like flies. (she mostly does this when they complain to her)
15.) DO NOT if you love her, say anything about you not wanting to make her wait for you… (TRUST me men, YOU ARE WORTH every breath to these women, or they wouldn’t be here)
16.) Most women actually do LOVE it when you are sweaty and dirty, even the girlie girls. 
17.) Only bring up the field once, say it clear, and don’t bring it up again. We will remember the time, the dates, like they were written on stone inside our mind. Don’t remind us.
18.) You ARE our hero. That isn’t us being cute, it’s us swelling with pride, feeling like a princess every time we glance over and you’re standing there.
19.) Don’t worry about waking her up when you get a chance to call, trust me, she’s NOT sleeping. If she is, she’s been waiting for you to call all night, and fell asleep next to the phone.
20.) Leave at least 3 of your shirts for her… she’ll wear them all the time and if she doesn’t wear them out she WILL wear them to sleep.
21.) No matter what she was like before, she is tough & harder than a rock now. She can handle anything, she will get through it, tears or no tears.
22.) Don’t be discouraged or taken back from her strength. It comes with the territory. When in your arms, she’s still your queen, soft and sweet.
23.) Your kids might see mommy as the one in charge for a while, it’s okay, they WILL respect you, just give it time.
24.) EVERYTHING in her life will be complicated, so she might not always get the simple things you say to her.
25.) Tag Chasers are her WORST enemy, she CAN and WILL spot these girls… random profane comments may come out of your little queens’ mouth… its okay, shes protecting her best asset… you.
26.) She will spend hours to look good on webcam & pics for you, this is just a past time until you get home, be prepared for messy ponytails and comfy pants when you finally do get home.
27.) Her favorite sentences from you start with “when i get home” or “when i get out”. Lastly guys,
28.) No matter how much she’s changed, never forget that you mean the world to her, she loves you more than anything, and you will ALWAYS be her hero..whether you think you are one or not.♥

pretty much. I love you Jared!

Married Life B.A. (Before the Army

We were living the dream in the beginning. Just out of college, starting our dream jobs. Life was full and happy and bright! We were in love, had a cute starter apartment, had enough money for our bills (although not much after bills!), and even adopted a couple of pets!

We were so young, just 21 and 22. Barely knew anything about being married. We did have great pre-marital counseling, and we had read and had in depth discussions on many important topics; like debt and money, in-laws, intimacy, children, love and respect.

However, living out what you have learned is an entirely different thing. We quickly fell into predictable patterns, and lost track of our joint goals, while pursuing individual ones. We accomplished great things, but not as we had imagined.

Jared was very involved in his teens, and in developing curriculum for them. He worked 7 days a week, and 3/4 nights a week. I worked Mon-Fri, 8-4pm, tagging on grad school classes 2 nights a week.

Separate schedules, turning into separate lives. As we became more involved in our work, we were less involved in each other. By March of 2010, we had a 5 month old baby, and we were barely more than roommates.
Totally dissatisfied we fought and blamed each other, instead of taking responsibility for our own part in the disillusionment of our marriage. Tears and anger were the fruitless results of many "conversations" these days.

Feeling frustrated with where life had gotten him, Jared began looking into moving his family away, feeling that our close proximity to our parents might be impeding my reliance on him as the leader of our home. I saw that a change was needed, and not wanting to continue this destructive path, I agreed to moving. Jared considered different Seminaries, in which to finish his graduate degree. I put in  my resignation from teaching, happy to think about being home with my son.

Jared decided on joining the Army, after about 2 months weighing different options. He felt that a decision like joining would be life altering, and force me to choose my marriage and our family unit over all else. He had felt our marriage crumbling deeply, and placed blame on me not "leaving and cleaving." I knew Jared was considering the military. My father is a retired Naval Officer. I am very proud of him and our country. But I married a pastor, a man opposed to war. He wouldn't really make that big of a change! Or so I thought.

Jared came home one evening and asked to take me out to dinner. We sat down at Olive Garden and I knew something was up. He was happy and excited. I felt nervous, and a little nauseous.
"I enlisted in the United States Army today! For 6 years!" he announced, before we had even gotten our bread sticks. He produced the documents and I read through his contract. It was binding. He was due to report on Oct 5th at Basic Combat Training. It would be Joshua's first birthday.  I felt like the bottom of everything had just dropped out from under me. There was no where to go, nothing to hold on to. And noone to hear my silent scream.