Kinda what it's like

I stole this from a new "online friend"...see item # 13...

When a girl loves a soldier...
1.) If she wasn’t emotional before, that is all about to change.
2.) You getting a higher rank doesn't displace her rank in your life.
3.) Get her a pair of dog tags, ASAP, This is crucial, she will never take them off.
4.) Most of the time, you losing reception during training is your fault. (Though, she will eventually understand)
5.) Most of the time, everything is your fault. (This especially goes for when she is pregnant)
6.) She WILL start talking like your guys and you talk, including using your last names.
7.) Her patriotism could out-do most of your men… she will be proud… VERY proud.
8.) Be Ready: your car will end up with a yellow ribbon magnet or an “I LOVE MY SOLDIER” sticker eventually. (if you have separate cars, hers will DEFINITELY have these)
 9.) She will most likely need a pair of dog tags to hang from the car’s rear view mirror. (see 3)
10.) Every week she’ll have “another song” that makes her think of you when you’re away. (And she’ll cry to it, even when you’re in the same room)
11.) If you’re married, she may know the base better than you do… Don’t take it personal.
12.) You will catch her comparing your relationship with “other couples” in the military constantly.
13.) She’ll make 5 million friends online, and talk to you about them all the time because her “old friends just don’t understand” like they do.
14.) Don’t be shocked when she just drops civilian chicks out of her life like flies. (she mostly does this when they complain to her)
15.) DO NOT if you love her, say anything about you not wanting to make her wait for you… (TRUST me men, YOU ARE WORTH every breath to these women, or they wouldn’t be here)
16.) Most women actually do LOVE it when you are sweaty and dirty, even the girlie girls. 
17.) Only bring up the field once, say it clear, and don’t bring it up again. We will remember the time, the dates, like they were written on stone inside our mind. Don’t remind us.
18.) You ARE our hero. That isn’t us being cute, it’s us swelling with pride, feeling like a princess every time we glance over and you’re standing there.
19.) Don’t worry about waking her up when you get a chance to call, trust me, she’s NOT sleeping. If she is, she’s been waiting for you to call all night, and fell asleep next to the phone.
20.) Leave at least 3 of your shirts for her… she’ll wear them all the time and if she doesn’t wear them out she WILL wear them to sleep.
21.) No matter what she was like before, she is tough & harder than a rock now. She can handle anything, she will get through it, tears or no tears.
22.) Don’t be discouraged or taken back from her strength. It comes with the territory. When in your arms, she’s still your queen, soft and sweet.
23.) Your kids might see mommy as the one in charge for a while, it’s okay, they WILL respect you, just give it time.
24.) EVERYTHING in her life will be complicated, so she might not always get the simple things you say to her.
25.) Tag Chasers are her WORST enemy, she CAN and WILL spot these girls… random profane comments may come out of your little queens’ mouth… its okay, shes protecting her best asset… you.
26.) She will spend hours to look good on webcam & pics for you, this is just a past time until you get home, be prepared for messy ponytails and comfy pants when you finally do get home.
27.) Her favorite sentences from you start with “when i get home” or “when i get out”. Lastly guys,
28.) No matter how much she’s changed, never forget that you mean the world to her, she loves you more than anything, and you will ALWAYS be her hero..whether you think you are one or not.♥

pretty much. I love you Jared!

Married Life B.A. (Before the Army

We were living the dream in the beginning. Just out of college, starting our dream jobs. Life was full and happy and bright! We were in love, had a cute starter apartment, had enough money for our bills (although not much after bills!), and even adopted a couple of pets!

We were so young, just 21 and 22. Barely knew anything about being married. We did have great pre-marital counseling, and we had read and had in depth discussions on many important topics; like debt and money, in-laws, intimacy, children, love and respect.

However, living out what you have learned is an entirely different thing. We quickly fell into predictable patterns, and lost track of our joint goals, while pursuing individual ones. We accomplished great things, but not as we had imagined.

Jared was very involved in his teens, and in developing curriculum for them. He worked 7 days a week, and 3/4 nights a week. I worked Mon-Fri, 8-4pm, tagging on grad school classes 2 nights a week.

Separate schedules, turning into separate lives. As we became more involved in our work, we were less involved in each other. By March of 2010, we had a 5 month old baby, and we were barely more than roommates.
Totally dissatisfied we fought and blamed each other, instead of taking responsibility for our own part in the disillusionment of our marriage. Tears and anger were the fruitless results of many "conversations" these days.

Feeling frustrated with where life had gotten him, Jared began looking into moving his family away, feeling that our close proximity to our parents might be impeding my reliance on him as the leader of our home. I saw that a change was needed, and not wanting to continue this destructive path, I agreed to moving. Jared considered different Seminaries, in which to finish his graduate degree. I put in  my resignation from teaching, happy to think about being home with my son.

Jared decided on joining the Army, after about 2 months weighing different options. He felt that a decision like joining would be life altering, and force me to choose my marriage and our family unit over all else. He had felt our marriage crumbling deeply, and placed blame on me not "leaving and cleaving." I knew Jared was considering the military. My father is a retired Naval Officer. I am very proud of him and our country. But I married a pastor, a man opposed to war. He wouldn't really make that big of a change! Or so I thought.

Jared came home one evening and asked to take me out to dinner. We sat down at Olive Garden and I knew something was up. He was happy and excited. I felt nervous, and a little nauseous.
"I enlisted in the United States Army today! For 6 years!" he announced, before we had even gotten our bread sticks. He produced the documents and I read through his contract. It was binding. He was due to report on Oct 5th at Basic Combat Training. It would be Joshua's first birthday.  I felt like the bottom of everything had just dropped out from under me. There was no where to go, nothing to hold on to. And noone to hear my silent scream.

Change; my backstory

Change. My life has been characterized by this concept for the past several years.

 When you are in High School they tell you, "The next ten years will change you like no other, you will experience a million new things, and make the biggest decisions of your life"
 They are taking about the span from 15-25, and decisions like: what courses to take, what college to attend, what degree to earn, which job/career, who to marry, where to live, when to start your family???

For me these were exciting adventures that I was confident about. I knew I wanted to go to Christian high school and college since I was 14. I knew I wanted a biblical education to make me qualified for ministry by the time I was 18. I knew I wanted to work with children, as a school teacher, since I was 7.

  When I met Jared I knew if we dated, I would marry him. I was 17. My goals had always been to live where there is mountains, water, trees, and be married with a baby by the time I was 25.

 Confident in my "plans" I pursued them. I graduated Calvary Christian School 10th in my class. I went to WOLBI and MCC pursuing both biblical education and teacher training. I then was accepted into Baptist Bible College's Teaching Program, Elementary Education K-8.

I attended BBC with Jared graduated summa cum laude, marrying Jared 7 weeks later, July 7th, 2007.

 I was an overachiever, focused on my goals and dreams and blessed by God. Jared felt led into ministy and God had been working in my heart also to pursue missions and ministry and counseling women. We were starry eyed and elated to witness the many ways God provided for us that first year.  Jared took a position as Youth Pastor at my church. I was a one on one at an early childhood program center, connected to the local school system.

 Jared was able to invest in short term missisions trips; I was learning to love special education and its puzzling challenges. 7 months after we were married I received a kindergarten teaching position in a new kindergarten program in the public school. 3 months before our first anniversary (May 2008) I started taking courses at Rivier College for my special education teaching certification.

It ended up being a Masters Degree in Education, Educational Studies, concentration in General Special Education. I graduated Sept 2nd 2009 and gave birth to my son Oct 5th 2009.

I was in my second year of teaching and I was just 24 1/2 years old. I had met every goal I had set for myself. I had done everything perfectly. But things were far from perfect. The ten years between 15-25 had shaped me in numerous ways. But today I have the feeling the next ten years will shape me even more.

-an excerpt from my journal

Getting Started

I have thought about blogging for a while. I always assumed my life was too boring for blogging, or too full to have time to sit and write anything worth reading.

My life has changed. It is continuing to change and will be changing over the next several years.

  Therefore, I have decided that blogging would be interesting. I also am looking for a place to write about all the things that are happening so that I HAVE to face them. I can't pretend they aren't there if I am writing about them.

One year ago I was a kindergarten teacher, married to a youth pastor and mother to a beautiful 6 month old. Today I am succinctly defined as an "Army Wife."

This blog will chronicle how I got here and whats next. The adventures never stop in the Army!!

I will write a post later to catch up on the details, but at this moment my husband has been in training for 5 months. He has about 2 months, or 48 days, left. When his training is done we will be moving, probably within the month. I have no other details. And it is less than 50 days away!! And the adventures continue...